Sunday, November 26, 2017

One More Thing about Loja Culture: Beauty

La Belleza 

I recently did a photo-shoot with some friends, and that's when I realized how much I've learned about how to look presentable and do extra things to look one's best because of the culture here. Beauty is a big part of Lojano culture, and I'm enjoying adapting.

La ropa 

I really have no idea where it comes from, but I know that doing one's best to habitually look presentable is a mindset for men and women that starts when one is young. First let's talk about clothing. Lojano schools have uniforms and parents teach their children to take care of those uniforms. They even take the time to iron them. Many jobs also have uniforms so their customers can have a visual for their dedication to excellence. I am required to wear a uniform at my job, and I do feel more professional because of it. Even though I never even owned one in the States, one of my first purchases in Loja was an iron!

Aside from the workplace, each occasion calls for different attire. I can honestly say that very rarely have I seen a Lojana woman wear a T-shirt and lounge pants outside her house. If it can be worn as pajamas, it does not leave the house (this "rule" does seem to be more for women than men). Casual clothing (a.k.a jeans and a t-shirt for men, and jeans and a blouse for women) is only worn at very casual events like friends or family hanging out at the park or going to see a movie on a Sunday afternoon. Exercise clothing is also only worn when exercising. Events like a nice dinner or a birthday party must be dressed up for, and going out on a Saturday night will require at least 30 minutes of preparation. For me, I've generally come to accept that I can't really overdress for any situation. I personally love this part of Lojano culture. I enjoy dressing up! 

Don't get me wrong- these customs don't make my friends shallow or superficial. Instead they recognize the truth that impressions matter. And more than anything, looking presentable is most important for the person wearing the clothes, not for those who see the person wearing the clothes. '

El maquillaje y peinado 

Let's talk about makeup and hair too! I have friends who never leave the house without make-up on. Even when they exercise, they are wearing make-up. Now, I haven't gone to that extreme, but I do realize that a little makeup can brighten up a look or play up your eyes. By living in this culture, I have truly learned that taking more time on these things is not about others, it's about myself. I value myself enough to put effort into looking my best, so I will take time to curl my hair for a special dinner or put on extra eye shadow when I go out. There's nothing wrong with looking in the mirror and liking what you see.

Comer saludable y hacer ejercicio

Speaking of enjoying the view in the mirror, another specific Lojano mentality is related to healthy living. Lojanos in general are healthy people. They emphasize eating right and exercising. This means taking the time to eat at home using fresh produce. This also means the public in general even if they are very busy during the week, use the weekends to exercise. When I began to lose weight a few months ago, almost everyone responded with either 1 of 2 questions. One: "Are you dieting?" Two: "Which gym are you going to?" There are many popular gyms in town, but I actually don't go to any of them. I exercise outside. This perspective does become contagious because they care not only about looking good, but also about feeling your best too.

Los precios

Living this way- exercising, doing hair and makeup, keeping clothing fitting well and looking good is easier for me in Loja and here's why: it's cheap! Gym memberships cost about the same as a membership in the States, but everything else is much cheaper. I can get a hair cut for less than 5 dollars. I can get my nails done for 3. Going to the tailor's to get my uniform re-fitted and fixing a pair of pants cost me 5 dollars too! I had never thought to get my clothes fitted in the States- that's for high class people, but in Loja it's within my price range! 

All of these things combined make for beautiful people. But they're not just beautiful on the outside, they have lovely hearts as well.

Monday, October 23, 2017

5 Things about Loja Culture: Tiempo Lojano

Tiempo Lojano 

Anyone who knows me, knows that I like to be punctual. It's important to me to show up on time or a little early to work, church, or any other particular event. I also like to plan ahead, or at least I used to.Then I adapted to life in Loja.

Llegar "tarde" 

The only thing in this culture that actually starts and stops on time is work (and church for the most part). People understand that work needs to begin when each person clocks in, and every worker understands that they work until the hour is up. Events with family and friends, on the other hand, do not start at the time that the invitation says. If I show up 30 minutes late, I will be one of the first ones to arrive.

Razones 

There are many reasons for this phenomena in my opinion, and I happen to like them.Reason NUMBER 1: If it's an event with friends and family- why stress over arriving on time? The whole point of getting together with friends or family is to enjoy it, so it's counter-intuitive to run around stressed about arriving on time when the reason of getting together is to relax and have fun together. Reason NUMBER 2: The show will go on whether or not I get there on time. The world and the event does not revolve around me, so those who arrive "early" can start enjoying the event even if everyone else doesn't get there on time. Reason NUMBER 3: I'm doing something with other people and it would be rude to leave that event early to go somewhere else.(more on that later). Reason NUMBER 4: I've underestimated the time I needed to get ready. My makeup isn't done, or I've decided to change my outfit/shoes/jewelry/etc. I didn't start getting ready until late, or I couldn't make up my mind on how to look my best. My guy friends are actually worse about this one than my gal pals.

Hacer planes 

Another aspect of time is how my Lojano friends make plans. In the States, for adults, if you don't make plans a week or two in advance, your plans won't happen the majority of the time. People fill up their schedules months at a time. I think that in some ways, we are afraid to have "down time." We would have to really know ourselves if we stopped going and going and going and that's scary. People from the States also tend to believe that being busy is equated with being important and valuable, so we stay busy. Most Lojano's aren't like that.

In Loja, plans are made for events that day or only days before. This is true for work, friends, and family plans. Friends will send me a text in the morning asking what I'm doing at night. At most, I will hear about something a couple days before. If I'm going to travel, it's not necessary to buy bus tickets weeks in advance.  Most people will buy the tickets a couple hours before, or at the time the bus leaves. Trying to make plans weeks in advance is useless because no one will be able to tell you whether they will be free or not. Even if you make plans a couple days before, both people have to confirm that day for the plan to work out. This difference has been difficult for me at times because I too like the security of having plans, but it's actually a beautiful thing. It allows me to be spontaneous. It looks like unexpectedly going out to coffee or dinner with friends after a long work day and having my spirits lifted. It will take a completely free weekend and turn it into the most lovely time filled with laughter and fun at the last minute.  

In general, I'm still adjusting to differences in perspective about time, but I can appreciate many of the reasons for the differences. So, I hope this post encourages you to do something spontaneous and take advantage of the time you have to spend it with the people who really matter to you!

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Single Christian Foreigner: Thoughts on True Love

Normally I post about my experiences or observations on this blog. It's a way for me to reflect on things that I've gone through or observed about life in a different country. It's also a way to inform my friends, family and anyone else who is interested about life in Ecuador. Tonight I'm taking a break from that, and I'm writing about something much more important: true love.

I am a total romantic. It doesn't matter if it's complete cheesy- sweet words, holding someone's hand, a gift of flowers- any thoughtful gesture of affection melts my heart. I love the idea of love.

I am also very driven. It serves me well in most other areas of my life. If I want something, I figure out how to get it, and I work until I have what I want. I wanted to come to Ecuador a little over 3 years before I made it here, but believe me waiting was not easy.

In addition, I'm impatient. Being this way doesn't mean I don't have to wait. Instead, it means that I have a bad attitude while I'm waiting. I tend to complain or rush things so they can be the way I want them sooner. When I do that- things don't turn out the way I had hoped.

These three things make being single difficult for me. When a husband wraps an arm around his wife in church, I think "I want that." When the possibility of a friend becoming more enters my mind, I think "Ok, so what do I need to do to make it happen?" And almost every time another friend starts a relationship, gets engaged, or posts romantic pictures on social media I can't help but wonder, "When will it be my turn God?"

Because of my weaknesses, I have hurt others and I have hurt myself. I feel awful because of that. Even though we've already talked, if you are reading this and I ever hurt you, I'm truly sorry.

Tonight, I took a walk and began to think of Jesus. I started to ponder his love for me. As romantic as I think I am- He's so much more. He is the author of love. We get butterflies in our stomachs when that special someone is around because he made us that way. We can care for someone incredibly deeply despite their flaws because He created us to be like Him. We love because God first loved us. One day Jesus is going to put his arm around my shoulder and it will be a better sensation than one I could have here on this earth. When I question: "What do I need to do? What should I do?," the answer is nothing. I can't force someone to love me, and I can't do enough good things to make God love me. Jesus already did everything for me. And as far as when it'll be my turn, well my question shows that I have forgotten how I have already been chosen. God, the creator of the universe--visible things like the Loja mountains and invisible things like forgiveness and love-- wants me to be his. For now, He wants me all to himself and maybe one day He'll be willing to share, but one thing is for certain- I'm going to remain his for all of eternity.    

That's True Love.


Sunday, September 3, 2017

5 Things about Loja Culture: Part 2

One of the most difficult parts of being in another country is being without family, but living here has helped shaped how I think about family. So here are a few things I've observed about family here in Loja!

Familia

Anyone who knows anything about Hispanics knows that family is of utmost importance to them. That's not new information, but it manifests itself in different ways and in my experience I have seen a new depth to this truth in Loja. 

La casa 

The easiest way to see the attention given to family here in Ecuador is living accommodations. Recently, I was talking with a student about her family. They live in one house with multiple floors. She lives with her parents and her younger sister, who is married and has two kids, on the first floor. Her grandmother, brothers, 2 sisters-in-law and their five kids live on the second floor. Then just two doors down the street, there's a house where some of her aunts, uncles and cousins live! And this isn't only her case. It's extremely common for families here to share houses, but have their separate space and personal kitchens for their family on the first or second or even third floor of the house. Compare this with the two or three times a year I used to see my cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents growing up and the difference is obvious! If the family doesn't live in the same place, they do their best to stick together. I have a friend who travels 10 hours by bus every weekend to be with his family! Proximity of living doesn't necessarily mean that they are always together, but for special holidays or weekends family is what it's all about!

Domingo

Another way family importance is obvious in this culture is Sunday. Sunday is a day for quality time with family. Tasks for work are put aside and parents spend time with their children. Stores are closed because everyone is at home or out with family. Cousins, siblings, and even grandparents meet in the park to play soccer, basketball, volleyball, or enjoy time outside. A big lunch is served and the whole gang gets together to enjoy a delicious meal. It's like Thanksgiving on a regular basis and in my eyes it's beautiful! 

Permiso

The most extreme way that I have seen family importance come into play is with asking permission. Many of my Lojano friends are around my age (20s and 30s.) And they continue to live with their parents until they get married and even then they may continue to live with the family which is also totally normal. What is still shocking to me is that they still ask their parents for permission to go out. They have curfews at 27 years old! Some have very understanding parents who do give them freedom to do as they please, but others aren't as fortunate. I've had times when adult friends weren't able to make it to an event. I later get a call that their parents didn't want them out of the house that night. This doesn't mean that they are incapable of being independent, successful, fully-capable adults. It just means that they hold their parents opinion in very high regard. As a very independent woman, whose parents let her travel alone to another country (thank you mom and dad!), many of my friends are still confused by how I have chosen to live. While this is still a difficult concept to wrap my brain around, if I have kids one day that value my opinion as much as my Lojano friends value their mothers, I would be an incredibly blessed mom.

I'm sure there's still much more to learn in regards to the culture of family here. So far I have learned how important family is. Of course there's no such thing as a perfect family because there's no such thing as a perfect person (excluding Jesus), but there is always something or someone to be grateful for. I've grown to appreciate my own family more by being here. I've also grown in gratitude for friends who look out for me. Some of my lovely friends with wonderful families have welcomed me into their family world to share special moments. So I want to say thanks to those friends and to my own family. You're the best!  

Sunday, August 6, 2017

5 Things about Loja Culture: Part 1 Cariño

I am coming up on 1 year living here in Loja! I am back in my home culture for a short time to visit my family! Since I'm here at home, I have been reflecting more about culture again. When I first arrived in Ecuador, everything was about culture. I was constantly thinking, "Wow! That's different. I really enjoy that." Or "That was confusing. I bet it's a cultural thing." And sometimes, "Hey! How rude... Oh wait... CULTURE.. it's just a different culture." But after a while, I just got used to how things are. I simply adapted even up to a point where I'm no longer comparing; I'm just living. Now though, as I'm already experiencing reverse culture shock (when your home culture actually surprises you because you've been away from it for a time), I have had more conversations with fellow foreigners and even Lojano friends about culture. Through those conversations, I've realized that there are many more deeper aspects to culture here that I've been blessed to experience, so I want to share them! Just so you know: one year does not make me an expert. I know I have a lot more to learn.

Quick Side Note:  When I started this post I didn't realize how much I would have to say about each topic, but now that I've finished I've decided to post each week on one more topic until I run out. Enjoy!

Cariño 

Cariño is a Spanish word that I can't quite translate into only one word in English. For me, one word translation simply doesn't carry the weight that Cariño does in Spanish.  So here's what I would say it is: a combination of affection, caring, compassion, loving kindness, and fondness. I first met Ecuadorians a few years ago, and we made instant connections and fast friendships. They captured my heart and I didn't really know why. Now I can easily say it's their Cariño. Now obviously not every person from Loja is incredibly kind and warm-hearted. Some are pessimistic. Some are anti-social. Some complain and gossip. BUT, to the ones I've opened up my heart and my life to- they have welcomed me in without judgement. As a young teacher, I still ask many questions of my friends who have greater experience, and not once have I felt like my questions were a nuisance to them. Most of my friends from church don't know English, but I never feel less-than because it might take me longer to express my thoughts in my second language. Even my neighbors, Carmita my landlady, or Gustavo the family man who works at local market where I shop are happy to advise me when I need help (which was a lot when I first got into town!).

When it is decided that someone is important to them, they not only say it- they show it! Along with saying thank you regularly, many students give teachers small gifts on their birthdays. One time, one of my classes decided to bring me pizza and cake to celebrate a special occasion! I've also received flowers and chocolates on multiple occasions. Co-workers take moments to smile and ask how things are going. We have been reminded to keep the conversations short because we are there to work after all. Friends have fun experiences together and make time just to chat. One of the biggest cultural shock moments I had when I first arrived to Ecuador was the time when some friends decided to get together and I asked them what we would do, and they said "probably just hang." In the States that might mean, we'll watch a movie, look up youtube videos, play cards, or play video games. No matter what there will be some kind of entertainment at least according to my experience, but not in Ecuador. That night we got together at a friend's house, and we just chatted. "Just hanging" means probably listening to music, maybe drinking tea or coffee, and talking. I've spent countless valuable hours just talking with my friends. The purpose of being together is to focus on each other not on some form of entertainment, and I love it!

Cariño is also seen in boy-girl interactions and romantic relationships. I've seen it with my friends. Men are gentlemen here. They open doors, carry in groceries when we buy out for a party, carry anything heavy that needs transport. They offer their arm or jacket if it's cold outside, walk friends home at night and some even walk closer to the road. It's a protective thing. While some independent women from the States might find it offensive, I think it's incredibly sweet.
These are things many men do just for their friends. It's definitely heightened in romantic relationships. I see it all the time: people taking a moment to kiss shortly before they part on the street, and couples walking hand in hand. It's adorable and I love it! Two of my friends have been married for over 15 years and the way he treats her is the best way I can think of to describe Cariño in a romantic relationship. If they are together, he is touching her somehow- by putting his arm around her, resting his hand on her knee, or holding her hand. He'll also go out of his way to help her out with things she needs and sometimes even small things that she wants. It's clear that she is his sweetheart and he adores her. She usually responds with a sweet smile and a thank you. He wanted to make her happy and he was successful. It melts my heart!  Even the Spanish language has expressions to show different levels of affection that English doesn't which are often said in those romantic relationships.

To those who still don't understand why I would ever want to leave the United States and come to a foreign country with a foreign language and a foreign culture, I hope this clears up some confusion. I also hope that I have learned from my friends how to show Cariño back to them and to others.  

Saturday, February 4, 2017

High School Teaching in Loja, Ecuador: My experience



During the last 5 months, I have worked harder than I ever thought I would work. Here in Ecuador, it's common for many English teachers to work at a high school and at an academy. I just followed suit, but I signed on to work a few more hours at the academy than my teacher friends. They warned me that the work load would be very demanding. I thought I could handle it, but it turns out I couldn't. They were right. I was wrong. After a month of 52 hour work weeks (and that was only classroom time), I changed my schedule to 44 hour work weeks in class. Even still, I was exhausted and burnt out, and about 3 weeks ago I finally quit my high school job. I decided to live on less, enjoy more free time, and only work at the academy.

Quick field trip to a nearby park
I made it working 2 teaching jobs here for a little over 4 months. Throughout those 4 months, I experienced a whole new meaning to being flexible, learned the meaning of a warm staff welcome, and observed many differences between how private schools are here in comparison to my experience in a Kansas school.  Here's my list of the many differences to expect when teaching in a private school here in Ecuador: These are my experiences in a small private school in one area of Ecuador- these differences may not apply to every school in Ecuador.

Uniforms: Not just a student requirement 

Seniors' class
Public and private schools here in Loja have uniforms for not only students, but also for teachers. The rules regarding the uniforms are incredibly strict. For example, if a student arrives wearing black socks instead of navy blue- he or she will have to make a call to his or her parents and wait in a designated area until his or her parents arrive with the right color socks. My first week at this private school, we had an hour long meeting discussing getting new navy blue pants for the teachers and which days we should wear them on. That was an incredibly shocking topic for me who was used to a simple modesty reminder at the beginning of the year in Kansas. The uniforms are a way of equalizing the students and a way of presenting a unified school body. I personally believe that the uniforms here teach the students from a young age that it's important to look presentable in public which really isn't a bad idea as long as it's not taken to an extreme degree of criticizing others.

Early mornings: 7 a.m. starts the day! 

All schools start at 7 a.m. here in Loja. If you knew me in Kansas, you know that I would arrive to school around 7 most mornings, but that time was prep time before the students arrived.  If you know me at all, you also know that I am a morning person, but starting class with students at 7 a.m. is not so easy. So if you teach in the U.S., this is an encouragement to be grateful that schools there start around 7:40 or later. That little time does make a difference! 

Teacher/Student Skit

Fun skits and Singing with the teachers! 

While this is not necessarily a big difference because many U.S. schools also have teachers do skits or dances for pep-rallies, I still wanted to share about my experiences here. In the private high school where I worked, at least once or twice a month there were special events that the students and staff celebrate. These events are usually a time to remember special historical events in Loja or Ecuador, or sometimes to focus on the importance of a specific subject area. For each event, one aspect has to include the arts. Therefore, the teachers or students would put on a skit, do a dance, or sing as a part of the event. These events help bond the students and staff together. I was able to be in a skit, and sing with my students. It was especially fun for me to learn through the events about Loja's history and celebrate education with the school body. 

Interruptions: Expect the Unexpected! 

One of the things I learned in my education classes in college was to expect the unexpected. Here in Ecuador- there is a whole other level to this rule. At any given time, on any given day, a few students could be asked to go with another teacher for a special project. Sometimes the teacher might be called out to do something and need to give his/her students an assignment to complete while he or she is completing another task. I remember in Kansas when small interruptions would extremely frustrate me."I'm trying to teach these kids something!," I used to think. Here, teachers cannot let the interruptions upset them, because then, they would basically be upset every few days. Eventually, I learned to always have an extra back-up plan each day and simply accept it even when I didn't have a back-up plan. Going with the flow is an important concept here that I feel I have definitely improved on. 
Pan y Colada Morada: Celebrating the Christmas Season with 9th Grade

Teachers move and Students stay put 

In the States, our high schools are such big buildings that each teacher has his or her own room, and the students move around. Here however, there isn't as much space in the city to have such big buildings for schools. Therefore, the students have their own classroom and the teachers move between classes at each school. (Academies are a different story.) For me, that meant that one of my first purchases as a teacher was a strong backpack. If I want the students to do something especially crafty, I bring extra supplies in my backpack. There are two main issues with this system. The first is that students can get very restless after sitting in the same spot for hours on end. The second is that class time is taken away by set up and tear down time by each teacher. It was just another adjustment to make. 
Food Unit! 9th Grade

Student Behavior: Environmental factors

I was blessed to work in this small private school where the class size is between 10 and 18. Most teachers do not have that privilege. That allowed me to get to know my students very quickly which was great. The students I worked with are all capable of great things. They are so smart and many of them have kind hearts. Doing activities and events with them outside of the class was awesome! Making them work inside the class was a different story because of many factors that had very little to do with my lesson plans or our class dynamics. These students have to sit in the same room, sometimes having two hour classes where the only plans are to complete are textbook assignments, or having special events interrupt each class all of which happens before I would even walk through the door. It was a daily guess as to if they would be motivated to work or not because of the inconsistency. That's just the way it is. That instability was difficult for me, but I kept teaching as long as I did because I care about the students.
Hanging with some students at the Student Sports Games Inauguration! 


Amazing Staff: Making new friends 

This isn't all that different from the States, but I just feel like sharing it!
One of the great things about working in this small private school was how much interaction I had with other teachers. Instead of each teacher staying in his or her room like in the States, teachers (who don't have their own room) share "offices" where they work at the same table whenever they have a free hour. Each subject area also has a weekly meeting and an agenda to discuss. Because of this, I got to know many of the other teachers quickly. We also shared other wonderful moments outside of the school day. We had a special elegant Christmas dinner together as a staff, and another dinner just with the English teachers. One woman invited the staff out to her house for a fun Saturday afternoon "barbecue." I feel as though I have made friends that will last even though I don't work there anymore. 
Having fun with Kathy!

Separation of Church and State: Not so much 

All Ready for Our Dance Number at the Christmas Dinner!
As far as I understand it, Ecuador also has rules against religious discrimination in schools like the States. And while the school I taught at was not affiliated with any particular religion (like some catholic schools here in Loja), there is a lot more freedom to show expressions of religion here. The very first hour of my very first day working in this private school, we listened to an inspirational podcast about taking care of your soul. We discussed how as teachers, leaders, and role models we need to be secure in our souls, have peace in our hearts, and show love to others. It was my first complete culture shock moment. In the States it is drilled into us teachers- not to talk about religion- not to show any display of our faith- some even go as far as to not say, "Merry Christmas." Here it's different. It was most obvious around Christmas- the students had a group project to use recycled products to complete a Bethlehem and manger scene! How cool is that?! Many teachers take time to talk about deeper personal topics here, and I'm still working on adjusting to that. I think it's wonderful, but it is definitely outside of my comfort zone. It's sad that keeping religion private is so ingrained in me.

Game time in 10th Grade!

Teacher! Teacher! 

Any Ecuadorian teacher will tell you that they hear, "Teacher! Teacher!" numerous times throughout the day. Most students do not use or know their teachers' names. They simply refer to them as "teacher." Personally, this drives me crazy. In the small school where I worked, because of it's size, the students will often use the teachers' first names. In an effort to blend my culture and theirs, I have my students call me, "Miss Melody." I still have to remind some academy students that since I learn their names, they should use mine.  This is one difference that I choose to change in my classroom. 

Can you say, "last minute?" 

A regular occurrence here is last minute favors, requests, demands, and notices. In fact, within a month of living here, I learned that there is no Spanish word for procrastinator. The reason why is because the vast majority of Ecuadorians wait until the last minute for almost everything. There is no distinguishing between those who plan ahead and those who don't because everyone basically doesn't. I have also adapted to waiting till the last minute as well. At the school, we got an email each morning about the events of that day. If I didn't read the email, I didn't know what was happening. Sometimes we would get an email in the morning about a task that we needed to finish before the end of the day. Technology makes this last-minute thing even easier to accomplish. Needless to say, I have become much more vigilant about checking my email.
Working at the Park: 10th Grade
There are numerous other small differences, and I am obviously not saying that one country does things better than any other. I am simply commenting on my experiences. Working where I did and continuing at the academy is a blessing. I'm never going to forget many special moments and even more special people who work at that small private school. I am happy that I have grown to adjust my ideas, become more flexible, and with each experience I get better at going with the flow.  

Whole School Meeting