I belong with like-minded people... right?
People tend to make friends and find comfort with those most like them. While this is most evident in middle school and high school--clicks are almost cliche now in teen movies-- a few moments of observation around the workplace or neighborhood, and this is clearly an obvious occurrence. Most friend groups are often homogenous: same race, same political beliefs, same religious backgrounds, same socio-economic status, same interests. I don't know if I'm suggesting that this is incorrect (maybe I'll hit this topic some other time)- I'm simply saying that it's what I see.
Based on all my observations, I should belong with a group of white, Christian, middle-class people. Yet this is not where I feel most comfortable. Whenever I'm surrounded by people who fit in that exact demographic, I feel insufficient. I like sports, but I'm not athletic like they are. I enjoy looking nice, but I don't care enough to spend that much time on my appearance. I enjoy Bible studies, but if no action is taken as a result, I grow frustrated and disillusioned. I DON'T BELONG with the people I should most, and it's been that way since I was young.
So if I don't belong where I "should"... where do I belong?
Ever since I was little, I almost innately decided that this group of similar people should be where I belong; so I strived to "fit-in" with them. The more I tried, the harder it became to be accepted. It continued to be just that: a struggle. I slowly started to understand that: If it is such a struggle, then maybe it's not the right place- not the right group of people. Sometimes I'm slow that way.
Don't get me wrong- I have very good friends in this demographic of people. They are amazing and I deeply care for them. However, I have slowly figured out that: where I feel I am my "best me" is with people who are in many ways very very different from me.
I found belonging with unlikely friends
I feel most comfortable with people from other countries- who have grown up with completely different experiences- who have incredible life stories- people from Ecuador, Afghanistan, Sudan, Somalia, and Rwanda to name a few. For some inexplicable reason, these people from opposite worlds accept me. I only needed to be a friend to earn their friendship. To them- I am special. And to me- they are special.
Saying yes to opportunities
The craziest thing about these friendships is that I never sought them out myself. Opportunities presented themselves and I said "yes" to them.
In high school, I had the opportunity to be a school ambassador and who did I welcome to the school? The exchange students and out-of-state students.
At OBU, international students lived down the hall and my roommate decided we should get to know them. A Japanese international student invited us Americans to a group called Philos- a group whose purpose was uniting international students with Americans in friendship. Eventually, I was somehow leading the group.
At K-State, I needed a job, and my mom had recently met the director of this exchange program with Ecuadorians. The director told my mom to have me come meet her. We had a 5 minute interview and I had a job working with English Teachers from Ecuador.
Last year my mom- who is an English Language Teacher- started having an influx of new English learners. They are refugees who have fled their home country. They waited YEARS to come to the U.S., and where do they show up, but my mom's school? The wichita school district decided to offer parents English classes in the evenings. Mom asked me, "Do you want to teach with me?" I said "yes" of course.
It's like God saw my struggles to fit in all that time and decided to keep putting people in my life who would accept me. I kept trying to belong in one place, but God had something else in mind.
Setting up my own opportunity
After becoming friends with many Ecuadorians and missing them terribly since they returned to Ecuador, I decided I would say yes to a one way journey. I have had to save for a while to make this happen, but in less than a month I will seek to live in the place I hope I will belong: Ecuador
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